I was sitting in the pub eating dinner last night with a friend when I pulled out my phone to show her something and saw that my best friend had texted me the news.
Dolly had died, at the beautiful age of 80 years old. She was reunited with her beloved Carl Dean.
“The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”
I grasped my friend’s knee as I processed the news and told her. We sat there, in our grief, sharing how much we loved her. Her music, her activism, her image, just her. What she represented to so many of us. We had just finished our drinks and declared we needed to get another drink in her honor. I almost thought about demanding that the bartenders put her music on, but I was in too much of shock to get the words out. Luckily, another pub patron must have said something because ten minutes later we heard Jolene playing through the speakers. My friend and I smiled at each other, tears in our eyes, as we sat and listened to Dolly’s voice.
I wish I could say I did something beautiful and thoughtful to honor her when I got home, like put on 9 to 5 or The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. But I just sat on my couch, put on the Dolly Essentials playlist on Apple Music, and cried as I scrolled through Instagram. To see the outpouring of love and gratitude to her rich, beautiful, and full life was just the comfort I needed. The collective grief we are sharing of losing someone who lived in the light so proudly and joyfully will continue to linger in the days to come. While my few, simple words will only reach my small blog audience, I wanted to put something out in the universe expressing my gratitude to Miss. Dolly and the legacy she’s leaving behind.
“A positive attitude and a sense of humor go together like biscuits and gravy.”
I know I’m not the only one who is so grateful to have lived in the time of Dolly. There’s so much to love and appreciate about the life she led. She’s one of the best songwriters in history and she championed country music in a way that few have. I wish I could have seen her perform live. Her over-the-top image that was the butt of jokes for decades, which she chose for herself. She was subverting the male gaze and making jokes about it before millennials and Gen Z were even alive. Her sharp wit and humor. Her generosity. Her creativity. Her authenticity. Her support of other women and her family. Her faith, which as a non-religious person I found refreshing because it was based fully in love and not in doctrine.
Which brings me to what I think is the most remarkable and important aspect of her life… how simple she made love seem. Her practical, straightforward approach to life, which I’m sure stemmed from her humble beginnings growing up in a poor, tight-knit Appalachian family, was a much needed reminder that none of this has to be complicated. If you are living life and making choices based on an ethic of love, you’re doing it for the right reasons. Whether it’s funding millions of books for children, championing LGBTQIA+ equality, supporting the community she came from, funding vaccine and other health research, and so much more, she moved through the world loving everyone and hoping for a better life for everyone. The way she spoke about her support for all the causes she put her time, money, and heart towards was so matter-of-fact, like ‘Well, of course I’m going to support gay marriage/vaccine research/Black Lives Matter. Why wouldn’t I?’.
Exactly, Dolly. Why wouldn’t you?
She left no room for bullshit because she was coming from a place of love, always. In a world that is being overtaken with hatred, indifference, and division, Dolly’s legacy of love needs to be remembered and honored.
Ask yourself, next time you have a decision to make…
What would Dolly do?
You can donate to Dolly’s Imagination Library here.
“Find out who you are and do it on purpose.”
...But Not With Haste 